It’s been a great week. I’ve been so busy, I didn’t even see it fly by.
I don’t know where to start, so I’ll just start with Monday where I woke up with fifteen bug bites – mosquito and spider alike. The mountain air that has oxygenated my veins for fifteen years makes me more tasty than the typical New Yorker, despite their baths in perfume. P&G stock has probably skyrocketed after all of the cortisone cream I have bought.
Just giving you a heads up if you could use the extra cash like I could.
On Tuesday, I signed my life and bank account away to a broker at 7am in the morning. He asked me why I didn’t look happier. “Are you not a morning person?” You are only scratching the surface on that answer, buddy. But we’ve already been down the road of why brokers suck, so I will spare the re-hash. My Italian half is tempting me, but I will refrain.
Then on Wednesday, our search application partners eSearch Vision and our client Svetka Vodka came in to pay us visits. I sat through endless meetings about Bieber, which turned into Charles roping me into the conversation by the strings of my internship. He called it his “sales reassurance policy” seeing as we have been neglecting clients, mostly Svetka, because Bieber is launching his fragrance in June (if he doesn’t go to jail for assault, that is). After sharing my Bieb stories about why I think he’s the biggest brat, I won their hearts and was required to go out to dinner and drinks after work.
At dinner, I kept sharing stories. I didn’t know my agony was going to be this humorous or interesting. Justin and Charles later said it was the most they had ever heard me talk. But while I was talking, the most embarrassing thing happened that I will never live down. The waiter, “bless his heart,” poured everyone else wine except me at the table because he thought I was underage.
You know how awkward that is to realize when someone, your client, wants to toast in your honor?
That wasn’t the last we saw alcohol that night though. Let me tell you, a liquor company loves to drink liquor.
I was so glad that I ordered the nastiest drink on the menu. I nursed that bad boy all night long, wincing every time the chili pepper met my tongue through the straw. I got up to leave at ten, thinking that was late, and got thrown back in a chair. Playing the “I’m little and helpless against the crazies on the train” card, I got Joe to walk me back to the subway.
The next day, I got to hear all about the shenanigans after I left. Apparently if you work for a liquor company, the rules of being an adult don’t apply. Svetka members got kicked out of bar after bar. I bit my tongue thinking that maybe I’m the one with the problem – that I don’t know how to let lose or have fun. But I think breaking glasses in a fit of rage and showing everyone in a bar your giblets is a little much.
Let’s just say that now, I have an interesting expectation for my birthday vacation to California. For all I know, public nudity could be common place over there because of the heat.
Saturday ended my week with a bang, where I finished writing another novel before riding the train from Grand Central to Riverdale to host a wedding shower for extra cash. I now know specifically why I want to elope if get married at all.
To a Bridezilla, it’s not mixed veggies, it’s “crutate.” At least I can say I learned something.
It was a fun but hectic week. Hopefully the ones to come will let me breathe a little more. But judging by the homeless man next to me on the C train, it doesn’t look promising.